beginners
Posted: February 1, 2012 Filed under: Days, Writing Comments Off
Last night, I watched Beginners, a movie that was released in 2011. I didn’t expect to be so moved by it, but move me it did. It is the movie of my heart, my heart now, on this last day of January 2012.
Beginners is about Oliver (Ewan McGregor), a 38-year-old man, whose father Hal (Christopher Plummer) has just died from cancer. Several years before Hal’s death, his wife Georgia, Oliver’s mom, passed away—and her passing gave Hal the push to come out and tell his son and the world that he is gay. Hal takes out a singles ad, goes to a club and thrills in the thumping music, meets a much younger boyfriend named Andy, gets a whole new wardrobe. He likes to tie a thin silk scarf around his neck. While Oliver is grieving, he meets Anna (Melanie Laurent) at a party. Despite their costumes (he is Freud, she is Chaplin), she recognizes his sadness. Her recognition captures Oliver and they begin to date and fall in love. As Oliver falls for Anna, he comes to terms with how his parents’ relationship shaped the way he loves, the way he relates. It’s a movie about the room we make for those we love.
There’s a lot of hand-holding in Beginners, so much tenderness. Oliver holding his dad’s hands after treatment. Oliver and Anna holding hands while roller skating. Anna holding Oliver’s face in her hands. Oliver carrying Arthur, his father’s dog. Oliver gently shaving Hal’s face. Oliver is a caring son, taking his father shopping, reading to him in the hospital room, answering each of his questions patiently even the nonsensical ones, placing each of his pills and capsules in small sauce bowls and sitting with him as he drinks them. It’s a movie for all of us who love our parents and want to do better at caring for them. “You always wanted to hold my hand when you were little,” Hal tells Oliver after the hospital bed is installed in his home and they are sitting on it side by side. It is late at night. When Oliver holds Hal’s hand, I am reminded of the way my dad and I hold hands these days. I hold his hand more often now, hoping that when he can’t remember it anymore, he’ll know by that simple gesture that I am beside him and that he is loved.
